The Enneagram Changed My Life, But I am Careful Who I Tell

Discover why sharing the life-changing insights of the Enneagram requires thoughtful consideration and how to approach conversations wisely.

Sat Mar 09 2024

a greek statue explaining the Enneagram

The Enneagram is awesome, unique, mysterious, and old.

I have found it helpful in my own life, but sharing its insights requires careful consideration. Here are some things to watch out for and think about before you try to explain the Enneagram to someone else.

Not Everyone Appreciates Being Psychoanalyzed or Labeled

Labeling or analyzing someone without their consent can feel invasive. When we excitedly share how the Enneagram has altered our perception, it’s crucial to remember not everyone wants to be seen through that lens.

Imagine mentioning to a friend that they seem like a Type 2 because they’re always helping others, only for them to respond coldly. They might not appreciate being categorized, especially without understanding the depth of Enneagram. It’s a reminder that personal growth journeys are deeply individual.

Tip: Begin conversations by sharing your personal experience with the Enneagram in a way that focuses on your journey rather than attempting to analyze or label the listener. This approach invites curiosity without making the other person feel judged or categorized.

Respect boundaries. Recognize that personal discovery is a path walked by choice, not by persuasion.

Positioning Yourself as a Teacher Can Be Off-Putting

When we share the Enneagram, it’s easy to fall into the role of a teacher, inadvertently positioning the listener as a student. This dynamic isn’t always welcome, especially if the listener isn’t seeking to learn in that moment.

Consider a scenario where you’re explaining the Enneagram’s intricacies to a friend, noticing their interest waning. They might feel overwhelmed or perceive you as assuming a superior stance. It’s essential to gauge someone’s openness to learning before diving deep.

Tip: Foster a mutual exchange of ideas by asking questions and showing genuine interest in the other person’s views and experiences. This creates an environment of mutual learning rather than a teacher-student dynamic.

Engage, don’t lecture. Dialogue fosters mutual exploration rather than imposing a one-sided view.

The Complexity of the Enneagram Can Be Overwhelming

Explaining the Enneagram’s nuances in one sitting is ambitious. Its complexity is what makes it a powerful tool, but also a daunting subject for newcomers.

You’ve likely spent hours, if not days, piecing together your understanding of the Enneagram. Expecting someone to grasp its full spectrum immediately is unrealistic. Bombarding someone with information can lead to confusion rather than enlightenment.

Tip: Introduce the Enneagram by highlighting one or two key insights that personally impacted you rather than trying to cover its entire framework. Encourage the person to explore further on their own if they express interest, and recommend resources that ease your own learning process.

Simplify and intrigue. Offer a glimpse into the Enneagram’s insights, inviting curiosity rather than overwhelming with details.

Self-Motivation is Key to Learning the Enneagram

Interest in the Enneagram must be self-driven. Pressuring someone to explore it can push them away rather than draw them in.

Recall your journey to discovering the Enneagram—it was likely driven by a personal quest for understanding, not someone else’s urging. Allowing others the space to find their way to it, if they choose, respects their autonomy in personal growth.

Tip: Share resources like books, websites, or podcasts that helped you understand the Enneagram better rather than pushing for immediate interest or understanding. This allows the other person to explore at their own pace and based on their own curiosity.

Encourage, don’t coerce. Inspire interest through your experience, not insistence.

Bias Towards Your Enneagram Type

Our explanations of the Enneagram are inevitably colored by our own experiences and type. This bias can skew how we present the system to others, possibly misrepresenting its universal applicability.

Acknowledging our perspective as just one of many can mitigate this. By sharing that the Enneagram offers a unique lens for each person, we invite others to explore their viewpoints.

Tip: Acknowledge that your interpretation of the Enneagram is influenced by your own type and experiences. Encourage others to research and learn from a variety of sources to get a fuller picture of the system. Highlight the importance of discovering their type on their own to ensure the journey is self-reflective and unbiased.

Acknowledge your view as one among many. Embrace the diversity of experiences the Enneagram reveals.


Sharing something big like the Enneagram requires sensitivity. By approaching conversations with openness, respect, and an awareness of our biases, we can inspire curiosity without imposing.

Let your journey be a beacon, not a directive.

We are making something 👷🔨 join the waitlist

Find out the similarities and differences
between you and anyone