The $35,000 Dating Mistake: How Your Personality Type Sabotages Love (And the Fix)

76% of online daters have been ghosted. 65% of Tinder users are already in relationships. And the average divorce costs $35,000—not counting the emotional devastation.

Yet we keep making the same dating mistakes. Over and over. Different faces, same disasters.

Here’s what nobody tells you: Your dating failures follow a predictable pattern based on your personality type. When you observe relationships through the Enneagram lens, something becomes crystal clear—each personality type has specific blindspots that sabotage love before it starts.

Even weirder? The very traits that attract you to someone often predict exactly how the relationship will implode. That “mysterious” Type 5 who fascinated you? They’ll withdraw when you need them most. That “protective” Type 8 who made you feel safe? They might struggle to show vulnerability when it matters.

But here’s the revolutionary part: Once you know your type’s pattern, you can break it.

This isn’t another generic dating guide telling you to “be yourself” or “play hard to get.” This is a tactical breakdown of how each Enneagram type approaches dating—their hidden triggers, unconscious sabotage patterns, and the specific keys to creating lasting connections.

These patterns are observable in everyday life. Once you start looking for them, you’ll see them everywhere. The transformations can be dramatic—people finally understanding why their past relationships failed and making different choices.

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The $12.9 Billion Problem Nobody’s Solving

The dating industry is worth $12.9 billion. By 2030, it’ll hit $20 billion. Yet 46% of users report negative experiences. The math doesn’t add up—unless you understand what’s really happening.

The Hidden Psychology That Controls Attraction

When you observe enough relationships, three universal patterns become undeniable:

Pattern 1: The Wound-Matching Algorithm Your unhealed wounds unconsciously seek their perfect match. Abandonment fears find anxious attachment. Control issues attract chaos. It feels like “chemistry” but it’s actually trauma bonding. (This explains why people often repeat the same relationship pattern multiple times.)

Pattern 2: The Shadow Projection Trap We’re magnetically drawn to people embodying our disowned traits. Type 1s (Perfectionists) fall for spontaneous Type 7s. Type 9s (Peacemakers) attract intense Type 8s. You think you’re “completing each other.” You’re actually triggering each other’s core wounds.

Pattern 3: The Familiarity Paradox Your brain mistakes dysfunction for love if it matches childhood patterns. That’s why the “spark” often signals danger, not compatibility. People often choose partners who recreate their earliest attachment wounds.

Want to understand the deeper psychology behind these patterns? Explore how your Enneagram type shapes your attachment style and discover why you’re drawn to certain relationship dynamics.

Why Traditional Dating Advice Makes Things Worse

Generic dating advice assumes everyone operates the same way. But telling a Type 2 (Helper) to “stop being so available” triggers their abandonment fears. Telling a Type 5 (Investigator) to “open up more” causes them to withdraw further.

The Enneagram Advantage:

• Reveals the core fear driving your dating patterns (usually invisible to you)
• Predicts relationship failure points with remarkable accuracy
• Provides type-specific solutions that actually work for your wiring
• Transforms recurring disasters into growth opportunities
• Creates lasting change in 30 days or less

The 9 Dating Personalities: Your Type-Specific Blueprint

Through careful observation of how each Enneagram type dates, what attracts them, and why they fail, clear patterns emerge. Here’s what actually works:

Type 1 - The Perfectionist: Breaking the Criticism Cycle

The Pattern That Destroys Type 1 Relationships

Type 1s don’t just have high standards—they have an internal critic that never shuts up. Watch any Type 1 in a relationship and you’ll notice their inner critic is often louder than their partner’s voice.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You evaluate partners like job candidates, creating a “improvement project” dynamic that kills romance. Your criticism (meant to help) feels like rejection to partners.

What Actually Attracts Type 1s

The Type 1 attraction pattern is remarkably consistent:

You’re unconsciously drawn to:

• People who embody your “shadow”—spontaneity, playfulness, ease
• Partners who seem to need your guidance (feeds your fixing impulse)
• Anyone who makes you feel “good enough” temporarily
• Chaos that needs ordering (addictive to your organizing brain)

The 5-Second Type 1 Test: If you’ve ever mentally corrected someone’s grammar on a first date, you’re probably a Type 1.

Critical Dating Skill: Before you can truly connect with a partner, you need to master listening without judgment. Learn active listening techniques customized for perfectionists to stop your critical inner voice from sabotaging intimacy.

Type 1 Red Flags (Stop These Immediately)

These Type 1 dating behaviors consistently predict relationship failure:

• The Restaurant Test Fail: Criticizing service staff (strong correlation with relationship failure)
• The Flexibility Crisis: Melting down over minor plan changes (drives partners away)
• The Judgment Loop: Making partners feel constantly evaluated (kills intimacy quickly)
• The Perfection Prison: Never being satisfied with “good enough” (exhausts partners)

Your Type 1 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Criticism Detox

• Count your critical thoughts for one day
• For each criticism, find one genuine appreciation
• Share 3 appreciations daily with your partner/dates
• Result: Critical comments noticeably decrease

Week 2: The Imperfection Challenge

• Deliberately do something “imperfectly” daily
• Leave dishes in sink, arrive 5 minutes late, wear mismatched socks
• Notice: The world doesn’t end
• Result: Anxiety around imperfection significantly reduces

Week 3: The Playfulness Protocol

• Schedule one “purposeless” activity daily
• No goals, no improvement, just enjoyment
• Dance badly, finger paint, play video games
• Result: Partners report much deeper emotional connection

Week 4: The Integration Test

• Plan a date with deliberate imperfections
• Wrong restaurant, getting lost, laughing at mistakes
• Measure: Can you enjoy imperfection?
• Result: Most people report breakthrough in flexibility

Your Type 1 Power Move: Tell your date about your inner critic. Say: “I have this internal judge that criticizes everything, including me. If I seem critical, I’m probably being 10x harder on myself.” This vulnerability creates instant connection.

Type 2 - The Helper: Escaping the Giving-to-Get Trap

The Pattern That Destroys Type 2 Relationships

Type 2s don’t just help—they create dependency to feel secure. Most Type 2s struggle to receive love without “earning” it first.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You give to get love, creating covert contracts that partners don’t know exist. When they don’t reciprocate your unspoken expectations, you feel betrayed.

The Type 2 Attraction Formula

Type 2s show consistent attraction patterns:

You’re unconsciously seeking:

• Emotionally unavailable people (you can “fix” them)
• Anyone who makes you feel special and chosen
• Projects disguised as partners (feeds your helper identity)
• People whose success makes you feel important

The 5-Second Type 2 Test: You know your date’s entire life story, but they know almost nothing about your actual needs.

Type 2 Danger Zones

Behaviors that predict Type 2 relationship failure:

• The Boundary Collapse: Zero boundaries with exes (creates intense partner jealousy)
• The Martyr Mode: Giving until exhausted, then exploding (happens by month 3)
• The Manipulation Matrix: Using guilt to get needs met (destroys trust)
• The Identity Merge: Losing yourself in partner’s life (leads to resentment)

Your Type 2 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Need Revelation

• Write 10 personal needs daily (most Type 2s struggle to name even 5)
• Share one need directly with someone daily
• No helping allowed for 2 hours daily
• Result: People report feeling “more real”

Week 2: The Receiving Practice

• Accept 3 compliments daily without deflecting
• Let someone help you without reciprocating
• Receive without giving back for 7 days
• Result: Anxiety around receiving noticeably decreases

Week 3: The Boundary Blueprint

• Say “no” to 3 requests daily
• Set one clear boundary with dates/partner
• Maintain boundary despite guilt
• Result: Respect from partners dramatically increases

Week 4: The Identity Reclaim

• Spend 2 hours daily on personal interests
• No helping, fixing, or supporting others
• Develop one skill that’s just for you
• Success metric: Can you be valued without giving?

Your Type 2 Power Move: On date 3, say: “I tend to focus on others and forget myself. What would you like to know about me?” Then actually share. This breaks your pattern and creates real intimacy.

Type 3 - The Achiever: Beyond the Performance

The Pattern That Destroys Type 3 Relationships

Type 3s don’t just achieve—they perform love instead of feeling it. Most Type 3s admit they “play a role” in early dating.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You treat relationships like LinkedIn profiles—optimizing for success metrics instead of genuine connection. You’re so busy performing that you forget to actually connect.

Type 3 Magnetic Attraction Patterns

Type 3s are typically drawn to:

You’re attracted to:

• Trophy partners who enhance your image
• People impressed by your achievements
• Anyone who sees through your performance (terrifying but addictive)
• Other high-achievers (power couple fantasy)

The 5-Second Type 3 Test: You scheduled sex in your calendar. With a reminder. And a follow-up task.

Type 3 Relationship Killers

• The Work Affair: Prioritizing career over relationship (commonly cited in divorces)
• The Image Management: Curating relationship for social media (exhausts partners)
• The Emotion Bypass: Scheduling feelings for “later” (which never comes)
• The Success Addiction: Treating love like another achievement to unlock

Your Type 3 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Efficiency Detox

• Ban phones during dates completely
• Spend 30 minutes daily doing “nothing productive”
• Practice being present without achieving
• Measure: Anxiety levels when not producing

Week 2: The Vulnerability Venture

• Share one failure story on each date
• Admit one insecurity to partner daily
• Show up without perfect presentation once
• Track: How people respond to real you

Week 3: The Feeling Finder

• Set 3 phone alarms daily: “What am I feeling?”
• Journal emotions for 5 minutes each alarm
• Share feelings within 2 hours of having them
• Success: Identifying emotions in real-time

Week 4: The Presence Practice

• Eye contact for 60 seconds daily with partner
• No talking, no phones, just being
• Measure quality time without accomplishing
• Goal: Discover love isn’t earned

Your Type 3 Power Move: Tell dates: “I sometimes focus so much on succeeding that I forget to be present. If I seem distracted, please call me out.” This accountability creates connection.

Type 4 - The Individualist: Stabilizing the Storm

The Pattern That Destroys Type 4 Relationships

Type 4s don’t just feel deeply—they create emotional tsunamis. Many Type 4s sabotage relationships when they feel “too happy.”

Your Dating Kryptonite: You’re addicted to emotional intensity, mistaking drama for depth. Peaceful relationships feel “boring” so you create chaos to feel alive.

Type 4 Attraction Magnetics

Type 4s consistently show these patterns:

You’re drawn to:

• Unavailable people (the longing feeds your melancholy)
• Anyone who “gets” your darkness
• Emotional intensity that matches yours
• People who make you feel uniquely understood

The 5-Second Type 4 Test: You’ve written poetry about someone you’ve never actually dated.

Type 4 Relationship Destroyers

• The Push-Pull Dance: Creating distance when someone gets close (nearly universal pattern)
• The Comparison Trap: Idealizing exes while devaluing current partner
• The Crisis Creation: Manufacturing drama when things are stable
• The Melancholy Addiction: Choosing sadness over solutions

Your Type 4 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Stability Experiment

• Document one “ordinary” beautiful moment daily
• Celebrate small, consistent gestures
• Resist urge to create intensity
• Track: Can you appreciate calm?

Week 2: The Presence Practice

• When triggered, wait 24 hours before reacting
• Write the story you’re telling yourself
• Check story against actual facts
• Result: Drama creation significantly reduces

Week 3: The Gratitude Groundwork

• List 5 things you appreciate about partner/date daily
• Focus on present, not past or fantasy
• Share appreciations directly
• Measure: Shift from longing to having

Week 4: The Integration Initiative

• Practice being “boringly happy” for 7 days
• No crisis, no drama, no intensity
• Find depth in consistency
• Success: Discovering ordinary magic

Your Type 4 Power Move: Say: “I sometimes create drama because calm feels uncomfortable. I’m learning that real depth exists in ordinary moments too.” This awareness prevents sabotage.

Type 5 - The Investigator: Opening the Vault

The Pattern That Destroys Type 5 Relationships

Type 5s don’t just need space—they disappear. Most Type 5s withdraw during relationship stress instead of engaging.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You treat intimacy like a resource that depletes you. You ration emotional energy like you’re in an apocalypse, leaving partners feeling shut out.

Type 5 Attraction Algorithms

Type 5s typically gravitate toward:

You’re attracted to:

• Independent people who don’t need much
• Intellectual connections over emotional ones
• Partners with their own rich inner world
• Anyone who respects boundaries without explanation

The 5-Second Type 5 Test: You’ve googled “how to human” unironically.

Type 5 Connection Killers

• The Withdrawal Reflex: Disappearing when overwhelmed (nearly universal for Type 5s)
• The Emotion Allergy: Treating feelings like viruses to avoid
• The Information Hoarding: Knowing everything about partner while revealing nothing
• The Energy Miserliness: Rationing affection like limited resource

Your Type 5 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Presence Protocol

• Spend 15 minutes daily in same room as partner (no activities)
• Share one personal fact daily
• Practice sustained eye contact for 30 seconds
• Track: Energy levels after connection

Week 2: The Emotion Experiment

• Name one feeling when asked (no analyzing)
• Share one need without being asked
• Initiate physical touch once daily
• Measure: Does sharing actually deplete you?

Week 3: The Engagement Endeavor

• Respond to partner within 2 hours (not 2 days)
• Share your internal world for 10 minutes daily
• Ask for support with one thing
• Result: Partners report dramatically more connection

Week 4: The Integration Test

• Plan and execute romantic gesture
• Spend entire day with partner (no escape)
• Share your deepest fear
• Success: Realizing connection multiplies energy

Your Type 5 Power Move: Tell partners: “I need alone time to recharge, but it’s not about you. When I withdraw, I’m processing, not rejecting.” This prevents misunderstandings.

Type 6 - The Loyalist: Trust Over Testing

The Pattern That Destroys Type 6 Relationships

Type 6s don’t just worry—they test until breaking point. Many Type 6s create the very abandonment they fear through constant testing.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You’re so busy looking for red flags that you create them. Your anxiety becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, pushing away the security you crave.

Type 6 Attraction Analytics

Type 6s commonly seek:

You’re drawn to:

• Confident people who seem certain
• Partners who provide security and stability
• Anyone who passes your elaborate tests
• People who can handle your anxiety without judgment

The 5-Second Type 6 Test: You’ve created a spreadsheet of your partner’s potential red flags. With subcategories.

Type 6 Sabotage Sequences

• The Testing Torture: Creating loyalty tests that partners don’t know they’re taking
• The Catastrophe Creation: Imagining worst-case scenarios until they manifest
• The Doubt Spiral: Questioning everything until trust erodes
• The Anxiety Infection: Making partner anxious through your worry

Your Type 6 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Trust Experiment

• Write fears about relationship daily
• Check fears against actual evidence
• Share one fear with partner directly
• Track: How many fears materialize? (Usually very few)

Week 2: The Security Building

• Create list of partner’s consistent behaviors
• Focus on patterns, not anomalies
• Celebrate reliability daily
• Result: Doubt significantly reduces

Week 3: The Anxiety Antidote

• When anxious, move body for 10 minutes
• Share anxiety without asking for reassurance
• Practice trusting without proof
• Result: Anxiety duration noticeably decreases

Week 4: The Faith Formation

• Make one decision without overthinking
• Trust partner with something important
• Stop testing for 7 days completely
• Success: Discovering trust is a choice

Your Type 6 Power Move: Say: “I have anxiety that makes me doubt things. It’s not about you—it’s my pattern. I’m working on trusting what you show me consistently.” This creates understanding.

Type 7 - The Enthusiast: Depth Over Distraction

The Pattern That Destroys Type 7 Relationships

Type 7s don’t just avoid pain—they avoid reality. Most Type 7s end relationships rather than work through difficult emotions.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You treat relationships like Netflix—constantly searching for something better instead of investing in what you have. FOMO kills your connections.

Type 7 Attraction Patterns

Type 7s are naturally attracted to:

You’re attracted to:

• People who add excitement to your life
• Partners who don’t limit your options
• Anyone who matches your enthusiasm
• People who don’t demand emotional processing

The 5-Second Type 7 Test: You’re planning your next date during your current date.

Type 7 Relationship Wreckers

• The Option Obsession: Keeping backup plans instead of committing (most Type 7s do this)
• The Positivity Prison: Toxic positivity that invalidates real feelings
• The Escape Artist: Running from difficult conversations
• The Stimulation Station: Needing constant entertainment

Your Type 7 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Stillness Study

• Sit with uncomfortable emotion for 5 minutes daily
• No distracting, fixing, or escaping
• Journal what happens when you stay
• Discovery: Feelings pass without action

Week 2: The Depth Dive

• Have one difficult conversation weekly
• Stay present through entire discussion
• No deflecting with humor
• Result: Most report much deeper connections

Week 3: The Commitment Challenge

• Close all dating apps for 30 days
• Focus on current relationship/connection
• Cancel one plan to go deeper instead
• Track: What happens with fewer options?

Week 4: The Integration Initiative

• Plan one “boring” date weekly
• Find excitement in stillness
• Practice presence over stimulation
• Success: Discovering depth is the ultimate adventure

Your Type 7 Power Move: Tell partners: “I sometimes avoid difficult emotions by staying busy. If I’m deflecting, please gently call me back to the conversation.” This creates accountability.

Type 8 - The Challenger: Vulnerability as Strength

The Pattern That Destroys Type 8 Relationships

Type 8s don’t just protect—they armor up. Most Type 8s struggle to say “I need you” even after years together.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You confuse vulnerability with weakness, creating relationships where you’re the protector but never the protected. This imbalance exhausts both you and your partner.

Type 8 Magnetic Patterns

Type 8s are consistently drawn to:

You’re attracted to:

• People with hidden strength
• Partners who can match your intensity
• Anyone who stands up to you
• People with authentic vulnerability

The 5-Second Type 8 Test: You’ve ended relationships rather than admit you were hurt.

Type 8 Power Problems

• The Control Compulsion: Needing to control everything (exhausts partners)
• The Vulnerability Void: Never showing soft side (prevents intimacy)
• The Anger Avenue: Using anger to avoid other emotions
• The Independence Isolation: Never admitting you need anyone

Your Type 8 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Softness Study

• Share one vulnerable feeling daily
• Use “I feel” instead of “You make me”
• Practice asking for comfort
• Track: Physical sensations when vulnerable

Week 2: The Control Release

• Let partner make all decisions for one day weekly
• Follow their lead without input
• Notice: World doesn’t collapse
• Result: Most Type 8s report feeling relief

Week 3: The Need Naming

• Say “I need you” once daily
• Ask for help with something
• Receive support without reciprocating immediately
• Measure: How partners respond to your needs

Week 4: The Power Share

• Create equal decision-making structure
• Admit one mistake daily
• Apologize without justification
• Success: Discovering vulnerability is ultimate power

Your Type 8 Power Move: Say: “I protect everyone else but struggle to let anyone protect me. I’m learning that needing you doesn’t make me weak.” This opens the door to real intimacy.

Love Language Insight: Type 8s often struggle with receiving love. Discover how your personality type shapes your love language and learn to recognize when your partner is trying to love you in their own way.

Type 9 - The Peacemaker: Showing Up Fully

The Pattern That Destroys Type 9 Relationships

Type 9s don’t just keep peace—they disappear. Most Type 9s lose themselves so completely in relationships they forget who they are.

Your Dating Kryptonite: You merge so completely with partners that you become invisible. Your agreeable nature creates relationships where your needs never get met.

Type 9 Attraction Dynamics

Type 9s typically gravitate toward:

You’re attracted to:

• Strong personalities with clear direction
• People who make decisions easily
• Partners with passionate energy
• Anyone who draws you out

The 5-Second Type 9 Test: You’ve agreed to things you hate to avoid conflict. For years.

Type 9 Relationship Roadblocks

• The Merge Mode: Losing all personal identity (nearly universal for Type 9s)
• The Conflict Collapse: Avoiding necessary confrontations
• The Passive Pattern: Never stating preferences
• The Resentment Reservoir: Building silent anger

Your Type 9 30-Day Transformation Plan

Week 1: The Opinion Operation

• State one preference daily (restaurant, movie, anything)
• Disagree with something minor daily
• Practice saying “Actually, I prefer…”
• Track: Partner’s reactions (usually positive)

Week 2: The Presence Practice

• Share one personal goal daily
• Spend 1 hour on individual interests
• Say no to 3 things weekly
• Result: Most report feeling “more real”

Week 3: The Conflict Course

• Address one issue directly weekly
• Stay present through discomfort
• Express anger when felt
• Measure: Relationships improve or worsen?

Week 4: The Identity Initiative

• List 10 things you want (not what others want)
• Pursue one personal passion
• Maintain boundaries despite pushback
• Success: Being loved for who you are

Your Type 9 Power Move: Say: “I tend to go along with everything to keep peace, but I’m learning my opinions matter too. Can you help me practice sharing them?” This invites support.

The 30-Day Dating Transformation Challenge

This universal 30-day program works regardless of type:

Week 1: Pattern Recognition (Days 1-7)

Daily Actions:

• Write your dating history in detail
• Identify 3 recurring patterns
• Map patterns to your Enneagram type
• Share patterns with trusted friend

Tracking Metrics:

• Number of “aha” moments
• Patterns you’ve never noticed before
• Connections between past relationships

Success Indicator: You can predict your next dating mistake

Week 2: Pattern Interruption (Days 8-14)

Daily Actions:

• Do opposite of your usual pattern once daily
• If you chase, create space
• If you withdraw, reach out
• If you people-please, state preference

Tracking Metrics:

• Anxiety levels when breaking patterns
• Partner/date responses to changes
• Urges to return to old patterns

Success Indicator: You catch yourself mid-pattern and choose differently

Week 3: New Behavior Installation (Days 15-21)

Daily Actions:

• Practice your type’s growth edge daily
• Use your “Power Move” in conversations
• Share this guide with dates/partner
• Discuss personality patterns openly

Tracking Metrics:

• Comfort with new behaviors
• Quality of connections
• Depth of conversations

Success Indicator: New behaviors feel less foreign

Week 4: Integration Testing (Days 22-30)

Daily Actions:

• Apply all learning in real situations
• Navigate one conflict using new tools
• Practice vulnerability daily
• Celebrate growth with partner

Tracking Metrics:

• Relationship satisfaction scores
• Conflict resolution success
• Emotional intimacy levels

Success Indicator: You’re creating conscious relationships

The Meta-Truth About Love and Personality

After observing countless relationships, here’s what becomes clear:

Love isn’t about finding someone without issues. It’s about finding someone whose growth edge complements yours. A Type 1’s perfectionism can help a Type 7 find focus. A Type 7’s joy can help a Type 1 relax.

The couples that last aren’t perfect matches. They’re conscious matches—two people aware of their patterns, committed to growth, willing to do the work.

Your Relationship Success Formula

Awareness + Action + Accountability = Transformation

• Awareness: Know your type’s patterns (you have this now)
• Action: Practice daily growth behaviors (30-day plan)
• Accountability: Share journey with partner (creates connection)

The Three Levels of Relationship Mastery

Level 1: Breaking Patterns (Months 1-3)

• You recognize patterns in real-time
• You interrupt destructive behaviors
• You make different choices

Level 2: Building Skills (Months 4-9)

• You practice new behaviors consistently
• You navigate conflicts consciously
• You create deeper intimacy

Level 3: Creating Magic (Months 10+)

• You use personality as growth tool
• You transform triggers into opportunities
• You create extraordinary love

Common Objections (And Why They’re Wrong)

“This is too much work.” Wrong. You’re already working hard—just unconsciously. We’re making your effort conscious and effective. Would you rather spend 30 days transforming or 30 years repeating?

“My partner won’t do this.” Start alone. When you change your pattern, the entire dynamic shifts. Many people report their partners change in response, even without directly participating.

“Personality typing puts people in boxes.” The Enneagram reveals boxes you’re already in—unconsciously. Awareness creates freedom. You can’t leave a prison you don’t know exists.

“I’m multiple types.” You have one core type that drives your deepest patterns. The confusion comes from behaviors versus motivations. Focus on WHY you do things, not what you do.

Start Your Transformation Today

You have two choices:

1. Keep dating unconsciously, repeating patterns, wondering why love never lasts
2. Take 30 days to transform your entire approach to relationships

Here’s what to do right now:

1. Identify your type (if unsure, take our Enneagram assessment)
2. Start your type’s Week 1 plan today
3. Share this guide with your partner/dates
4. Track your progress daily
5. Join our community for support

Remember: Every relationship you’ve had was practice for the one that lasts. Now you have the manual.

The patterns end here. The transformation starts now.

Ready to transform your dating life?

Share your type and biggest relationship challenge below

Based on observable patterns in how each Enneagram type approaches dating, we’ve created the most comprehensive personality-based dating guide available. But knowledge without action is just sophisticated suffering. Your transformation starts with the first step. Take it today.