Charli D'Amelio: The Psychology of Reluctant Fame

"I consider myself a normal teenager that a lot of people watch, for some reason."

She posted a dance video on the way to practice. By the time class ended, her life had changed forever. No audition. No campaign for followers. Just a 15-second clip that turned a Connecticut teenager into the most-followed person on TikTok.

156 million followers. A reality show. A Dancing with the Stars victory. A Broadway debut. Charli D'Amelio has done more by 21 than most people do in a lifetime.

Yet in interview after interview, she seems genuinely confused by her own success. That confusion isn't fake humility. It reveals something real about her psychology.

TL;DR: Why Charli D'Amelio is an Enneagram Type 9

• The Reluctant Star: Unlike celebrities who chase fame, Charli stumbled into superstardom and remains confused by her success. She goes with the flow rather than asserting herself.
• Peace Over Conflict: Her response to controversies is notably non-confrontational. She withdraws or apologizes rather than fighting back publicly.
• Merging with Family: Her career is inseparable from her family. Her parents manage her business, her sister collaborates with her, and their reality show centers on family dynamics rather than individual spotlight.
• Dissociation Under Stress: She has described panic attacks where she feels like she's "not even Charli anymore." That dissociative experience is characteristic of Type 9s under extreme stress.
• The Internal Struggle: Behind the calm exterior is enormous internal conflict. She wants normalcy but lives in the spotlight. She wants to please others but also needs to protect herself.

What is Charli D'Amelio's Personality Type?

Charli D'Amelio is an Enneagram Type 9

Enneagram Type 9s are called "The Peacemaker" for good reason. They want harmony. They avoid conflict. They struggle to push their own agenda, sometimes to the point of forgetting what they even want.

Charli fits this pattern exactly. It explains why she seems bewildered by her fame, why she struggles with the attention, and why her mental health has suffered under expectations she never asked for.

Type 9s fear loss and separation. That fear shows up as a deep need to keep things peaceful, both inside and out. They minimize their own importance and often merge with the identities of those around them. Like fellow Type 9 Keanu Reeves, another celebrity famous for his humility and discomfort with stardom, Charli seems genuinely puzzled by the attention she receives. For her, this has meant becoming deeply enmeshed with her family business while struggling to articulate her own individual desires.

The Type 9's wing can be either 8 (The Challenger) or 1 (The Perfectionist). Charli shows signs of a 9w1. Her sensitivity to criticism, her desire to do the right thing, and her internal self-judgment all point toward that One wing, which adds a perfectionistic quality to the otherwise easygoing Nine.

Charli D'Amelio's Upbringing

Charli Grace D'Amelio was born on May 1, 2004, in Norwalk, Connecticut. Her family background blends artistic and entrepreneurial influences: her mother Heidi was a photographer and former model, while her father Marc was a businessman who once ran for the Connecticut State Senate as a Republican.

From age three, Charli was a competitive dancer. This wasn't a casual hobby—she trained over 15 hours per week at studios like The Spot and Just Dance, competing for over a decade in ballet and jazz. Her older sister Dixie was also involved in dance and performing arts, creating a household where artistic expression was valued and supported.

But Charli wasn't the stereotypical performance kid seeking the spotlight. By her own admission and her parents' observations, she was naturally shy and introverted.

A shy kid spending hours in dance studios. That's the Type 9 paradox. She could nail a routine with tremendous skill and presence. Put her in an unscripted social situation? Deeply uncomfortable.

Dance gave her a way to express herself without having to assert her personality. She could disappear into the movement.

One experience stuck with her for years: a dance teacher made negative comments about her body when she was still a pre-teen. "Words have so much power, especially when it comes to young dancers," Charli later reflected. Her mother recalled that "it really messed with her head to have an adult teacher commenting negatively about your body because she was muscular and lean. She was tiny, she hadn't developed yet."

This early wound planted the seeds of body image struggles and eating disorders that would intensify under the microscope of internet fame.

Rise to Fame

Charli's rise to TikTok superstardom reads like an accident because it was.

In May 2019, she posted a lip-syncing video with a friend. Nothing special, nothing calculated. She was 15, just messing around. In July 2019, she posted a duet video on the way to dance class. By the time her lesson ended, her followers had jumped from 7 to 2,000.

"There was no way to understand what was happening at the time because it had never happened the way it did on TikTok," Charli has said. "It was just a very weird time."

The explosion accelerated in October 2019 when her "Renegade" dance videos went viral. Her decade of competitive training showed. She could execute trending choreography with precision and charisma that set her apart.

But here's the thing: she wasn't creating these dances. She was interpreting them. She excelled at going with the flow of what was already popular, adding her polish to existing trends rather than pushing original content. Very Type 9.

What set Charli apart technically? Not just that she could learn choreography fast. It was her ability to project energy outward.

As one dance teacher observed, "it's common for people to do technical things with the energy held inside the body." Charli learned early to push that energy out, connecting with the camera in a way that felt personal.

Her years of competitive training in ballet, hip-hop, and jazz gave her the foundational technique that made even 15-second clips look polished. "You gotta be uncomfortable to be comfortable and look good," she later explained.

The Hype House Chapter

In late 2019, Charli and Dixie joined the Hype House, a Los Angeles content collective co-founded by Chase Hudson, Thomas Petrou, and others. Unlike some members, the D'Amelios never actually lived in the house—they were Connecticut residents visiting LA to collaborate.

The Hype House represented an interesting test for a Type 9: navigating a competitive environment full of ambitious young creators all vying for attention. Charli's approach? Go with the flow, collaborate when it made sense, and don't fight for the spotlight.

When the collective became "more of a business" in early 2020, Charli and Dixie quietly stepped away. Their representative explained: "When the Hype House started to become more of a business, they stepped away from that aspect, but haven't stepped away from being friends with the members in the house."

No drama. No public falling out. Just a Type 9 recognizing when the energy had shifted and peacefully disengaging.

By end of 2020, she became the first creator to surpass both 50 million and 100 million TikTok followers. She held the title of most-followed person on the platform from March 2020 to June 2022.

The milestones came fast:

• February 2020: Super Bowl commercial for Sabra hummus
• March 2020: Appearance on "The Tonight Show" with Jimmy Fallon
• September 2020: Dunkin' Donuts launched "The Charli" drink based on her go-to order
• The family signed with United Talent Agency and began building an empire

But Charli's response to all this success reveals her Type 9 nature. "I think every day it was kind of waking up and being a little bit confused and wondering, 'But when's it all going to stop?'" she said.

Rather than claiming ownership of her achievement, she consistently minimizes it: "I consider myself a normal teenager that a lot of people watch, for some reason."

That "for some reason" is telling. Type 9s often genuinely don't understand why people pay attention to them. They've been so busy going with the flow that they haven't developed a strong sense of their own worth and impact.

Personality Quirks and Mindset

The Disappearing Self

The most revealing aspect of Charli's psychology is how she describes her panic attacks.

"I'm just this emotional person that doesn't function properly," she's said. "And I get into these, like, really, really bad places, and it's scary for me... I'm not even Charli anymore."

That dissociative experience, feeling like you've lost yourself entirely, is common for Type 9s under extreme stress. While all types can experience anxiety, 9s uniquely lose touch with their own identity. They've spent so much energy merging with others and avoiding conflict that their sense of self becomes fragile.

Charli has had panic attacks since third grade, long before fame. The attention didn't create her anxiety. It amplified an existing tendency to feel overwhelmed when she can't maintain her inner equilibrium.

The Quest for Normalcy

Charli's daily routines reveal someone desperately trying to create pockets of peace.

She wakes around 7 AM, scrolls her phone (like any teenager, she notes), feeds her dogs, drinks coffee. She practices yoga daily for flexibility and calm. She values family dinners as time to connect. She explicitly tries to create "a calm atmosphere" during her skincare routine.

These aren't the habits of someone chasing fame. They're the habits of someone trying to ground themselves amid chaos they never asked for.

The Family Merger (and the Dixie Dynamic)

Type 9s often merge with their closest relationships, sometimes losing themselves in others' identities and agendas. Charli's career is inseparable from her family: her parents manage her business, her sister Dixie is a constant collaborator, and their reality show "The D'Amelio Show" centers the family unit rather than Charli as an individual star.

The Dixie dynamic is particularly interesting. Charli is the younger sister who became more famous. Dixie has 57 million TikTok followers, impressive by any normal standard, but Charli has nearly three times that. In most sibling relationships, that imbalance would create tension.

Dixie and Charli weren't actually close growing up. "We didn't talk at all really," Dixie has shared. "When I say not talk, I mean like actually not talk for days, weeks. Until we went to high school together and we would drive to school every day. Ever since then we've been very close, she's my best friend."

Their current relationship involves merciless teasing and arguing in videos. Relatable sibling content that works because it feels authentic. But they also fiercely defend each other publicly. When there was drama with Addison Rae over old social media comments shading Charli, Dixie immediately took to Twitter to call it out.

For a Type 9 who struggles with individual attention, having a sister to share the spotlight provides buffer and support. The family brand diffuses the pressure that would otherwise fall entirely on Charli's shoulders.

When Charli dated Landon Barker (Travis Barker's son), she noted that her "favorite relationship is between Dixie and Landon because they bicker like siblings." Even in describing her romantic relationship, she centers others' dynamics rather than her own feelings.

The People-Pleaser's Paradox

Charli has been praised for her humility and willingness to engage with fans. But there's a shadow side: she has OCD and struggles with the gap between who she is and who people expect her to be.

"I've struggled with OCD pretty much my whole life," she shared on Taylor Lautner's podcast. The disorder often manifests in Type 9s as intrusive thoughts about maintaining harmony. Obsessive worry about having upset someone. Compulsive behaviors aimed at keeping peace.

Major Accomplishments

Despite her reluctant relationship with fame, Charli's achievements are undeniable:

TikTok Dominance:

• First creator to reach 50 million and 100 million followers
• Currently second-most followed person on TikTok with 156+ million followers
• Most-followed creator on the platform from March 2020 to June 2022

Television:

• Won Season 31 of "Dancing with the Stars" (2022) with partner Mark Ballas
• Set a record for the highest single-dance score (50/50) in DWTS history
• Stars in family reality series "The D'Amelio Show" on Hulu

Her DWTS partner Mark Ballas offered rare insight into what Charli is actually like to work with: "Over the following weeks we built a bond, friendship & trust that was unique & unbreakable. Charli... you are truly one in a million, a total diamond... the thing that impressed me most about you aside from your natural talent & gift was your STELLAR attitude, you worked so hard, put in extra hours, were never on your phone in rehearsal go mode & had total trust in me and all my wild ideas."

Ballas also noted that Charli was "shy & timid" for the first few weeks but that he "knew there was something extremely special in there, which became even more apparent after our first performance."

Shy on the outside, something special underneath. That description captures the Type 9 paradox perfectly.

Broadway:

• Made Broadway debut in "& Juliet" (October 2024)
• Played Charmion, a dance-heavy ensemble role at the Stephen Sondheim Theatre
• Extended run through September 2025 due to demand
• Received positive reviews praising her dance skills and stage presence

"& Juliet" is a jukebox musical that reimagines Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. What if Juliet didn't die and got a second chance at life? The show features pop songs by Max Martin, the hitmaker behind songs for Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, and Taylor Swift. Charmion is one of Juliet's friends, a featured dancer role that showcases Charli's decade of training.

"I'm beyond excited to join the Broadway community, it's a dream I've had since I was a little girl," Charli said when the casting was announced. "To be able to make my Broadway debut, especially in the cast of & Juliet, is truly a dream come true."

One reviewer captured the strategic value of the casting: "Yeah, so what if D'Amelio was stunt casted? I think it was a pretty smart move. A lot of kids will come to see their favorite TikToker, but I think a lot of them will leave with a newfound love for the theatre."

When Ballas heard about her Broadway debut, he gave her words of encouragement. The two have maintained their close bond. Charli was even part of his Thanksgiving celebrations after DWTS wrapped.

Brand Partnerships:

• Dunkin' Donuts: "The Charli" signature drink
• Sabra: Super Bowl commercial (2020)
• Dunkin': Co-starred with Ben Affleck in 2024 Grammy Awards commercial
• Garnier: Brand ambassador (2024)
• Kate Spade: Fronted spring-summer 2025 campaign

Recognition:

• TIME100 Creators List (2025)
• Forbes Top Creators (#6 in 2025 with $23.5 million earnings)

Notice how Charli talks about these achievements. Gratitude mixed with bewilderment. Like they happened to someone else.

"Performing in & Juliet has truly been a career highlight for me... getting to dance my heart out on stage with such talented performers is a dream come true."

Even when celebrating, she talks about the experience, not her own success.

Controversies and Challenges

The Renegade Credit Controversy

The most significant early controversy Charli faced wasn't about something she did. It was about something she didn't do.

The Renegade dance that propelled Charli to fame was actually created by 14-year-old Jalaiah Harmon, a Black dancer from Atlanta. Harmon choreographed the routine in September 2019, posted it on Instagram and Funimate, but as the dance spread to TikTok, her name got lost. Many viewers assumed Charli had created it.

"I was happy when I saw my dance all over," Harmon told The New York Times in February 2020. "But I wanted credit for it."

The situation became a flashpoint for larger conversations about credit and appropriation on TikTok. Specifically how Black creators' work often went viral without attribution while white creators reaped the benefits.

In February 2020, the NBA invited Charli, Dixie, and Addison Rae to perform at All-Star Weekend. Jalaiah wasn't initially included, sparking widespread backlash. The NBA eventually invited Harmon for a solo performance during the game.

The same day, Charli posted a video with Jalaiah, captioning it: "guys i would like to introduce you to @_.xoxlaii i am so happy that she was able to teach me the original choreography that she made she is the best!"

How Charli handled this controversy reveals her Type 9 nature. She didn't get defensive. She didn't claim ignorance as an excuse. She acknowledged Jalaiah, collaborated with her publicly, and stepped back to let Harmon receive recognition.

A more assertive personality type might have fought back against the criticism or tried to minimize the situation. Charli's instinct was to restore harmony and give credit where due.

Was her response perfect? Critics argued it came too late, only after public pressure. But the response itself, non-confrontational and focused on making things right rather than defending herself, is textbook Type 9.

The "Dinner with the D'Amelios" Backlash

In November 2020, the premiere of "Dinner with the D'Amelios" sparked significant backlash. Viewers accused Charli and Dixie of being rude to their personal chef Aaron May. Charli made faces at the meal and asked for "dino nuggets," while also expressing she wished she'd hit 100 million followers on her one-year anniversary.

The response was swift and brutal: Charli lost over one million followers in less than one day.

For a Type 9, this kind of public rejection hits hard. The fear of separation and loss that defines them was playing out in real-time, measured in follower counts. Charli's response was characteristically non-confrontational. She apologized and withdrew rather than defending herself or fighting back.

Eating Disorder Disclosure

In September 2020, Charli publicly shared her struggle with eating disorders.

"I've always tried to use my voice when it comes to issues surrounding body image, but I've never talked about my own struggles," she wrote. "I've been afraid to share that I have an eating disorder, but ultimately I hope that by sharing this I can help someone else."

On "The D'Amelio Show," she revealed the extent of her struggle: periods of overindulging followed by making herself sick, then extended fasting. The roots traced back to that dance teacher's comments about her body, amplified by the relentless scrutiny of millions of followers.

"When I gained weight people would comment, and when I lost weight, they'd praise me," she said. "But at my lowest weight people criticized me for being skin and bones."

Criticized no matter what. Brutal for a Type 9 who just wants everyone to be happy.

The Chase Hudson Relationship Drama

Before Landon Barker, there was Chase Hudson (Lil Huddy). A relationship that played out entirely in public and ended in messy TikTok drama.

Charli and Chase met through the Hype House, which Chase co-founded. They began dating in December 2019, making it official on Valentine's Day 2020. They were 15 and 17. TikTok's most-followed couple.

The relationship ended in April 2020 amid cheating rumors. Chase allegedly kissed Nessa Barrett (who was dating Sway House member Josh Richards at the time), triggering a cascade of drama including a diss track called "Still Softish" released by Richards and Bryce Hall.

Charli announced the breakup through Instagram Stories: "Since you guys have watched mine and Chase's relationship from the start, I decided I needed to tell you all that we are no longer together."

In July 2020, Charli publicly accused Chase of cheating. Chase responded on Twitter by admitting he'd kissed Nessa Barrett but claimed he was single at the time, then called out other TikTokers for their own alleged cheating.

How did a Type 9 handle being in the middle of a very public, very messy breakup? Charli mostly stepped back and let the drama play out around her rather than escalating. She made her statement, didn't engage in the back-and-forth Twitter fights, and eventually went quiet.

About a year later, Charli and Chase started appearing in each other's TikToks again. On "The D'Amelio Show," Charli even said she was open to reconciliation: "We are so close that I do think one day in the future, I think it was the right person, wrong time. I feel like we'll find each other again."

That forgiveness, that desire to restore the relationship rather than burn it down, that impulse toward reconciliation over permanent conflict. All very Type 9.

She eventually moved on with Landon Barker, which created its own awkwardness since Landon and Chase had been friends. Chase unfollowed both Landon and Dixie on social media when the new relationship went public.

The "Prom Queen" Song Controversy

Charli apologized for using the song "Prom Queen" by Beach Bunny in a TikTok, as the lyrics about counting calories and wanting a "perfect body" were seen as potentially triggering.

Ongoing Criticism

Mel Magazine called her "one of the first polarizing figures on the video app, the embodiment of the strange, precarious and unpredictable new world of Gen Z online fame." Critics have labeled her "basic," "cringeworthy," and "overhyped."

She never asked for fame. She's genuinely confused by the attention. So these criticisms cut deep.

Type 9s absorb negative energy from their environment. They can't just brush off hate the way more assertive types do.

Mental Health Journey

Charli's most significant challenge has been her mental health. She hit her lowest point right after reaching 100 million followers. A moment that should have been triumphant but instead felt hollow.

"It's really tough," she's said about managing mental health in the spotlight.

The D'Amelio family's decision to include therapy on their reality show was intentional: they wanted teenagers to see that seeking help is normal and necessary.

Charli now sees a therapist regularly and has developed coping mechanisms. Avoiding comments sections. Creating calm routines. Leaning on family support. She's learned that "less is more" applies not just to skincare but to her engagement with the parts of fame that drain her.

Charli D'Amelio's Legacy and Current Work

At 21, Charli D'Amelio has already changed internet culture. She proved that TikTok could create real superstars. Not just viral moments, but actual careers.

And she did it without aggressive self-promotion or courting controversy, unlike driven Type 3s like Taylor Swift who carefully plan every career move.

Her Broadway run in "& Juliet" marked a significant evolution. Critics who dismissed her as "just a TikToker" were forced to acknowledge her genuine talent. One reviewer noted that "D'Amelio's professional dance card does not decline." She earned the role on merit, not just fame.

What She's Posting Now

Her TikTok content in 2025 has matured somewhat. She still posts dance videos, that's her foundation, but there's more variety now. Recent posts include nostalgic compilations looking back at her early content ("og mash up" videos), behind-the-scenes glimpses of her Broadway life, and personal moments. She attended Coachella 2025 and shared outfit content from the festival.

The evolution isn't dramatic. That's the point. She hasn't reinvented herself or tried to pivot to something completely different. She's the same person who posted dance videos in 2019, just with more life experience and a Broadway credit. Very Type 9: gradual evolution rather than dramatic transformation.

With over 156 million followers and 11.9 billion total likes, she remains the second-most followed person on TikTok. In July 2025, she was named to the inaugural TIME100 Creators list. Forbes ranked her #6 on their Top Creators list with $23.5 million in earnings.

Personal Life

She's currently single after her relationship with Landon Barker ended in February 2024. Rather than jumping into another public relationship, she's focused on personal growth, career pursuits, and spending quality time with her close-knit family. A very Type 9 approach to healing through peace rather than distraction.

Her Mental Health Influence

Her influence goes beyond entertainment. By openly talking about eating disorders, panic attacks, and therapy, she's helped make mental health struggles less taboo for her Gen Z audience. Fellow Type 9 Selena Gomez has done similar work, using her platform to make conversations about anxiety and depression feel normal. The inclusion of therapy in "The D'Amelio Show" has shown millions of young viewers that seeking help is strength, not weakness.

What's next? Charli seems fine letting her career develop on its own terms. No aggressive five-year plan. No desperate pivots. She'll go where the flow takes her. Probably dancing the whole way.

Conclusion

Charli D'Amelio's story challenges our assumptions about fame and ambition.

We expect celebrities to be driven, to crave attention, to fight for their spotlight. But here's someone who stumbled into becoming one of the most-followed people on earth while repeatedly insisting she's "just a normal teenager."

That's not false modesty. That's a Type 9 trying to make sense of how her inner experience, just wanting peace and normalcy, matches up with the reality of her life. She didn't want to be special. She wanted to dance, hang out with her family, and be left alone. Instead, 156 million people watch her every move.

The most interesting thing about Charli isn't her dance skills or her follower count. It's watching a naturally shy, anxious person learn to exist in a spotlight she never sought. She's figured out how to protect her inner peace while living in a world that constantly threatens it.

She's proof that you don't have to want fame to achieve it. And that achieving it doesn't mean you have to become someone you're not.

What do you think makes Charli different from other social media stars? Is her reluctance to embrace fame genuine, or is it part of her appeal?