Personality Maxing: Using the Enneagram to Max Out Your Personality
(Updated: 5/26/2025)
The Mistake: Only Working on Mental Health When Things Go Wrong
Did you know that most people treat their mental health like emergency medicine—only addressing it when they're already struggling or in crisis?
It’s not because people don’t care about their wellbeing. And it’s also not because they lack the resources or knowledge to improve themselves. The mistake, and the reason so many people stay stuck in the same emotional patterns, is because they only focus on mental health reactively instead of proactively building psychological strength.
This reactive approach leads to the following negative outcomes (which is why you should avoid it):
The Reason This Happens: The Stoicism Trap and Reactive Culture
The reason this happens is because our culture has taught us that emotions are problems to be solved rather than strengths to be developed.
We’ve been conditioned to suppress our feelings, “stay strong,” and only seek help when we’re breaking down. Social media glorifies stoic masculinity and emotional numbness as ideals, while therapy and self-development are still somewhat taboo topics. And most people have no framework for understanding how their emotions actually work, so they just react to them instead of working with them strategically.
Here are some even more specific reasons why people fall into reactive mental health patterns:
The "Therapy is for Broken People" Myth
Society has conditioned us to believe that working on your mental health means something is wrong with you, rather than understanding it as preventive maintenance like going to the gym.
Lack of Emotional Education
Most people were never taught how emotions actually function or how to work with them productively—they just learned to suppress, ignore, or be overwhelmed by them.
The Stoicism Misunderstanding
Popular culture has bastardized stoicism into "ignore your emotions," when what people really need is to understand and skillfully work with their emotional patterns.
No Proactive Framework
Without a system for understanding personality and emotions, people have no choice but to wait for problems to arise before they can address them.
How To Fix It: Enter Personality Maxing
So, how do we avoid this reactive mistake?
Well, it all comes down to taking a proactive approach to mental fitness—treating your emotional and psychological development like you would treat physical fitness. Because the easy answer would be to simply “work on yourself more.” But this advice is going to go through one ear and out the other if we don’t give you a concrete framework and action steps.
Instead of waiting for emotional crises to force you into self-reflection, here’s what you should do instead:
Why Personality Maxing Works: It's Proactive Self-Development
The problem is most approaches to personality development either:
- Focus on surface-level traits without addressing core emotional patterns
- Encourage emotional suppression (the stoicism trap)
- Only provide reactive solutions after problems have already occurred
Personality maxing is different because it gives you a proactive framework for understanding and optimizing your emotional and psychological patterns before they become problems.
The Best Tool for the Job: The Enneagram
After exploring various personality systems, the Enneagram stands out as the most effective tool for personality maxing because it:
Enneagram Crash Course for Personality Maxing
Your step-by-step guide to understanding and optimizing your personality
0: Here's What You Can Expect
This crash course will teach you how to use the Enneagram for personality maxing. You'll learn to identify your core emotional patterns, understand why you developed them, and develop specific strategies for optimizing your psychological strengths.
Here are the 5 things we'll cover:1: 3 Most Important Things To Know
There Are 3 Core Emotions That Shape Your Personality
Anger, fear, and shame are the three fundamental emotions that drive human behavior. Everyone experiences all three, but you have an underdeveloped relationship with one of them due to childhood experiences.
There Are 3 Different Strategies for Handling These Emotions
You can either actively use your core emotion, keep it subconscious (running in the background), or suppress it entirely. Each strategy creates different personality patterns and behaviors.
This Creates 9 Personality Types (3 emotions × 3 strategies)
These aren't just arbitrary categories—they're 9 different worldviews or life strategies that people develop to navigate their core emotional patterns. Each type has specific strengths, blind spots, and growth opportunities.
Anger
Instinctual/Body Intelligence
(knowing what you want and need)
Fear
Intellectual/Head Intelligence
(thinking clearly and planning ahead)
Shame
Emotional/Heart Intelligence
(reading feelings and connecting with others)
2: 3 Mistakes Most People Make
Your Childhood Wound Is Still Running the Show
Trying to Fix Surface Behaviors Instead of Core Patterns
Assuming Everyone Thinks and Feels Like You Do
3: 3 Steps To Go From Zero to 1
Step 1: Identify Your Core Emotion
Ask yourself: Who do you empathize with most?
- People who are angry and frustrated?
- People who are anxious and worried?
- People who feel insecure or ashamed?
You'll have more patience for people expressing one of these emotions over the others. This gives you a clue about which emotion relates to your personality type.
Step 2: Observe Your Emotional Strategy
Once you've identified your core emotion, notice how you typically handle it:
Step 3: Learn Your Type's Basic Pattern
Based on your core emotion and strategy, you can identify your likely Enneagram type:
Anger Types:
Fear Types:
Shame Types:
4: 3 Simple Upgrades To Accelerate Growth
Get External Perspective on Your Patterns
Talk to trusted friends and family members. Ask them what emotional patterns they notice in you. Compare their observations to your self-perception—the gaps between how you see yourself and how others see you reveal your blind spots.
Develop Situational Awareness
Start noticing your emotional reactions in real-time. When you feel triggered, stressed, or reactive, pause and ask: "What core emotion is driving this response right now?" This builds the self-awareness that's essential for personality maxing.
Practice Emotional Labeling
Begin naming emotions as you experience them. Instead of just feeling "bad" or "good," get specific: frustrated, anxious, disappointed, excited, confident. This develops your emotional vocabulary and helps you communicate more effectively with others.
5: 3 Best Practices Moving Forward
Be Selective About Sharing Your Enneagram Journey
Don't go telling everyone about your Enneagram discoveries. Not everyone will be interested or ready for this level of self-reflection. Share your insights thoughtfully with people who are genuinely curious about personal growth. Here's why being selective matters.
Use Your Framework for Deeper Conversations
You now have a framework for understanding emotions and personalities. Use this to have more meaningful conversations with people. Ask thoughtful questions about their experiences and motivations. This will naturally draw people in and deepen your relationships.
Study Your Type's Patterns (Both Positive and Negative)
Read about your type's stereotypes and see how you're similar and different. Understanding both your type's strengths and limitations gives you a roadmap for growth. Pay special attention to your type's common blind spots and growth challenges.
Stay Curious and Keep Learning
Overall, get curious about human psychology and behavior. The Enneagram is just the beginning—use it as a foundation for understanding yourself and others more deeply. Notice patterns in your relationships, observe how different people handle stress, and keep refining your emotional intelligence.
Ready to Start Your Personality Maxing Journey?
The Enneagram gives you a powerful framework for understanding and optimizing your personality, but the real growth happens through practice and community.
Join the Conversation
Test your new understanding of personality patterns by engaging with real situations and getting diverse perspectives.
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Dive deeper into your specific type and growth opportunities with expert coaching.
Book Coaching Session →Remember: personality maxing isn't about becoming someone else—it's about becoming the most skillful, emotionally intelligent version of yourself.