Personality Maxing: Using the Enneagram to Max Out Your Personality

(Updated: 5/26/2025)

You've heard of "looks maxing" and optimizing your physical appearance. What's more important is the idea of personality maxing.

The Mistake: Only Working on Mental Health When Things Go Wrong

Did you know that most people treat their mental health like emergency medicine—only addressing it when they're already struggling or in crisis?

It’s not because people don’t care about their wellbeing. And it’s also not because they lack the resources or knowledge to improve themselves. The mistake, and the reason so many people stay stuck in the same emotional patterns, is because they only focus on mental health reactively instead of proactively building psychological strength.

Which keeps them perpetually behind the curve.

This reactive approach leads to the following negative outcomes (which is why you should avoid it):

Repeated Emotional Patterns: You keep having the same fights, falling into the same dark spirals, and making the same relationship mistakes because you never built the emotional intelligence to recognize these patterns before they happen.
Stunted Personal Growth: While others are actively developing their emotional skills and self-awareness, you're stuck playing catch-up, only addressing problems after they've already damaged your relationships or career.
Missed Opportunities for Connection: You can't read people effectively or come across as genuinely charismatic because you haven't developed the foundational understanding of how emotions and personalities work.
Mental Health Stigma Reinforcement: By only engaging with psychological concepts during crisis moments, you reinforce the outdated idea that mental health work is something to be ashamed of rather than celebrated.

The Reason This Happens: The Stoicism Trap and Reactive Culture

The reason this happens is because our culture has taught us that emotions are problems to be solved rather than strengths to be developed.

We’ve been conditioned to suppress our feelings, “stay strong,” and only seek help when we’re breaking down. Social media glorifies stoic masculinity and emotional numbness as ideals, while therapy and self-development are still somewhat taboo topics. And most people have no framework for understanding how their emotions actually work, so they just react to them instead of working with them strategically.

And this couldn't be further from what actually creates confidence and emotional strength.

Here are some even more specific reasons why people fall into reactive mental health patterns:

The "Therapy is for Broken People" Myth

Society has conditioned us to believe that working on your mental health means something is wrong with you, rather than understanding it as preventive maintenance like going to the gym.

Lack of Emotional Education

Most people were never taught how emotions actually function or how to work with them productively—they just learned to suppress, ignore, or be overwhelmed by them.

The Stoicism Misunderstanding

Popular culture has bastardized stoicism into "ignore your emotions," when what people really need is to understand and skillfully work with their emotional patterns.

No Proactive Framework

Without a system for understanding personality and emotions, people have no choice but to wait for problems to arise before they can address them.

How To Fix It: Enter Personality Maxing

So, how do we avoid this reactive mistake?

Well, it all comes down to taking a proactive approach to mental fitness—treating your emotional and psychological development like you would treat physical fitness. Because the easy answer would be to simply “work on yourself more.” But this advice is going to go through one ear and out the other if we don’t give you a concrete framework and action steps.

So, let's get specific.

Instead of waiting for emotional crises to force you into self-reflection, here’s what you should do instead:

Develop Emotional Awareness Before You Need It: Just like you build physical strength before you need to lift something heavy, build emotional intelligence and self-awareness as preventive maintenance for life's challenges.
Learn to Read Your Own Patterns: Understand your triggers, emotional responses, and behavioral tendencies so you can navigate relationships and decisions more skillfully.
Build a Framework for Understanding Others: Develop the ability to read people and empathize effectively, which makes you more charismatic, trustworthy, and successful in all areas of life.
Practice Emotional Expression, Not Suppression: Learn to control and healthily express your emotions rather than bottling them up—this signals genuine confidence and emotional maturity.

Why Personality Maxing Works: It's Proactive Self-Development

Here's the thing: People are naturally interested in personality and psychology because they're trying to proactively understand themselves and others. They want to stop making the same mistakes, having the same fights, and going down the same dark spirals.

The problem is most approaches to personality development either:

  • Focus on surface-level traits without addressing core emotional patterns
  • Encourage emotional suppression (the stoicism trap)
  • Only provide reactive solutions after problems have already occurred

Personality maxing is different because it gives you a proactive framework for understanding and optimizing your emotional and psychological patterns before they become problems.

The Best Tool for the Job: The Enneagram

After exploring various personality systems, the Enneagram stands out as the most effective tool for personality maxing because it:

Identifies your core emotional patterns and how they drive your behavior
Explains why you do what you do (not just what you do)
Provides specific growth strategies for your particular psychological makeup
Connects your childhood experiences to your current patterns
Offers a roadmap for developing emotional intelligence and psychological resilience

Enneagram Crash Course for Personality Maxing

Your step-by-step guide to understanding and optimizing your personality

0: Here's What You Can Expect

This crash course will teach you how to use the Enneagram for personality maxing. You'll learn to identify your core emotional patterns, understand why you developed them, and develop specific strategies for optimizing your psychological strengths.

Here are the 5 things we'll cover:
✅ The 3 most important Enneagram concepts for personality maxing
❌ The biggest mistakes people make when trying to understand themselves
🎯 How to identify your core emotion and Enneagram type
⚡ Simple upgrades to accelerate your emotional intelligence
🚀 Best practices for ongoing personality development

1: 3 Most Important Things To Know

There Are 3 Core Emotions That Shape Your Personality

Anger, fear, and shame are the three fundamental emotions that drive human behavior. Everyone experiences all three, but you have an underdeveloped relationship with one of them due to childhood experiences.

There Are 3 Different Strategies for Handling These Emotions

You can either actively use your core emotion, keep it subconscious (running in the background), or suppress it entirely. Each strategy creates different personality patterns and behaviors.

This Creates 9 Personality Types (3 emotions × 3 strategies)

These aren't just arbitrary categories—they're 9 different worldviews or life strategies that people develop to navigate their core emotional patterns. Each type has specific strengths, blind spots, and growth opportunities.

Key Insight: Each core emotion corresponds to a specific type of intelligence:

Anger

Instinctual/Body Intelligence

(knowing what you want and need)

Fear

Intellectual/Head Intelligence

(thinking clearly and planning ahead)

Shame

Emotional/Heart Intelligence

(reading feelings and connecting with others)

2: 3 Mistakes Most People Make

Your Childhood Wound Is Still Running the Show

Most people don't realize that their adult personality is largely an elaborate coping mechanism developed in childhood. You're still unconsciously reacting to wounds and patterns formed when you were young, which means your emotional responses often don't match your current reality.

Trying to Fix Surface Behaviors Instead of Core Patterns

People focus on changing specific habits or traits without understanding the underlying emotional drives. You can't sustainably change your behavior without addressing the core emotion that's driving it—it's like trying to treat symptoms while ignoring the disease.

Assuming Everyone Thinks and Feels Like You Do

Most people project their own emotional patterns onto others and get confused when people don't respond the way they expect. Each Enneagram type has a fundamentally different way of processing reality, and not understanding this leads to constant miscommunication and relationship problems.

3: 3 Steps To Go From Zero to 1

Step 1: Identify Your Core Emotion

Ask yourself: Who do you empathize with most?

  • People who are angry and frustrated?
  • People who are anxious and worried?
  • People who feel insecure or ashamed?

You'll have more patience for people expressing one of these emotions over the others. This gives you a clue about which emotion relates to your personality type.

Step 2: Observe Your Emotional Strategy

Once you've identified your core emotion, notice how you typically handle it:

Do you actively use it? (Express it directly and let it guide your actions)
Is it subconscious? (Influences you from the background without you realizing it)
Do you suppress it? (Try to avoid or minimize feeling it)

Step 3: Learn Your Type's Basic Pattern

Based on your core emotion and strategy, you can identify your likely Enneagram type:

Anger Types:

Uses it → Type 8 (The Challenger)
Subconscious → Type 9 (The Peacemaker)
Suppresses it → Type 1 (The Perfectionist)

Fear Types:

Uses it → Type 5 (The Investigator)
Subconscious → Type 6 (The Loyalist)
Suppresses it → Type 7 (The Enthusiast)

Shame Types:

Uses it → Type 2 (The Helper)
Subconscious → Type 3 (The Achiever)
Suppresses it → Type 4 (The Individualist)

4: 3 Simple Upgrades To Accelerate Growth

Get External Perspective on Your Patterns

Talk to trusted friends and family members. Ask them what emotional patterns they notice in you. Compare their observations to your self-perception—the gaps between how you see yourself and how others see you reveal your blind spots.

Develop Situational Awareness

Start noticing your emotional reactions in real-time. When you feel triggered, stressed, or reactive, pause and ask: "What core emotion is driving this response right now?" This builds the self-awareness that's essential for personality maxing.

Practice Emotional Labeling

Begin naming emotions as you experience them. Instead of just feeling "bad" or "good," get specific: frustrated, anxious, disappointed, excited, confident. This develops your emotional vocabulary and helps you communicate more effectively with others.

5: 3 Best Practices Moving Forward

Be Selective About Sharing Your Enneagram Journey

Don't go telling everyone about your Enneagram discoveries. Not everyone will be interested or ready for this level of self-reflection. Share your insights thoughtfully with people who are genuinely curious about personal growth. Here's why being selective matters.

Use Your Framework for Deeper Conversations

You now have a framework for understanding emotions and personalities. Use this to have more meaningful conversations with people. Ask thoughtful questions about their experiences and motivations. This will naturally draw people in and deepen your relationships.

Study Your Type's Patterns (Both Positive and Negative)

Read about your type's stereotypes and see how you're similar and different. Understanding both your type's strengths and limitations gives you a roadmap for growth. Pay special attention to your type's common blind spots and growth challenges.

Stay Curious and Keep Learning

Overall, get curious about human psychology and behavior. The Enneagram is just the beginning—use it as a foundation for understanding yourself and others more deeply. Notice patterns in your relationships, observe how different people handle stress, and keep refining your emotional intelligence.


Ready to Start Your Personality Maxing Journey?

The Enneagram gives you a powerful framework for understanding and optimizing your personality, but the real growth happens through practice and community.

Join the Conversation

Test your new understanding of personality patterns by engaging with real situations and getting diverse perspectives.

Ask Questions on 9takes →

Get Personalized Guidance

Dive deeper into your specific type and growth opportunities with expert coaching.

Book Coaching Session →

Remember: personality maxing isn't about becoming someone else—it's about becoming the most skillful, emotionally intelligent version of yourself.


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