9 Dark Sides of Personality: The Toxic Traits in Each Enneagram Type

Ever wonder why some people drive you up the wall?

Piss you off?

Make you anxious?

Give off bad vibes?

Well, they probably have a toxic trait buried deep in a shadowy corner of our personality.

Here we will explore the toxic traits of each Enneagram type!

Why Explore Toxic Traits?

We are a mix of strengths and weaknesses.

It’s easy to spot others’ annoying quirks, but do we notice our own? Understanding these quirks or darker aspects of personality paves the way to self-awareness and ultimately better relationships.

Each Enneagram type has potential pitfalls. We’ll will explore what these toxic traits look like and where they come from. Many should seem familiar and some might surprise you.

Type 1: The Perfectionist’s Poison

Judgmental Tendencies

Type 1s can turn into walking, talking judgment machines. They’ve got an opinion on everything, and spoiler alert: it’s usually negative.

These perfectionists often struggle with an intense fear of being wrong or corrupt. Their critical nature stems from a deep-seated belief that the world should adhere to their high standards. Understanding this can help us see their judgments as misguided attempts to improve rather than pure malice.

Guilt-Tripping

These folks have a PhD in making others feel bad. They’ll sigh dramatically when you don’t meet their impossibly high standards, leaving you feeling like you’ve personally disappointed the entire human race.

At their core, Type 1s are their own harshest critics. The guilt they impose on others is often a reflection of the immense pressure they put on themselves. Their struggle to accept imperfection in themselves and others can lead to this toxic behavior.

Self-Righteousness

Type 1s can get so caught up in their own moral superiority that they forget to be, well, actually good people.

This behavior often masks a deep-seated fear of being flawed. Their self-righteousness is a defense mechanism against their own perceived shortcomings. Understanding this can help us approach their behavior with more empathy.

Type 2: The Helper’s Hidden Agenda

Emotional Manipulation

Type 2s can use their kindness as a weapon, keeping score of every good deed and calling in favors when it suits them.

This manipulative behavior often stems from a fear of being unwanted or unlovable. Type 2s struggle with the belief that they must earn love through their actions, leading to a transactional approach to relationships.

Boundary Violations

Personal space? What’s that? Type 2s can steamroll over boundaries faster than you can say “back off.”

Their boundary-crossing tendencies often come from a place of insecurity. Type 2s fear that maintaining healthy boundaries might lead to rejection, so they overcompensate by becoming overly involved in others’ lives.

Martyrdom

These helpers aren’t always as altruistic as they seem. They’ll do you a “favor,” then hang around expectantly, waiting for praise like a dog waiting for a treat.

The martyr complex in Type 2s often masks a deep need for recognition and appreciation. Their struggle to directly ask for what they need leads to this indirect method of seeking validation.

Type 3: The Achiever’s Ugly Ambition

Inauthenticity

Type 3s can change their personality faster than a mood ring. They’ll be whoever they think you want them to be, leaving you wondering if you ever knew the real them at all.

This chameleon-like behavior stems from a core fear of being worthless. Type 3s struggle with the belief that their value comes from their achievements and others’ perceptions, leading them to constantly adapt their persona to gain approval.

Competitive One-Upmanship

Got some good news? A Type 3 will find a way to one-up you. “Oh, you got a promotion? That’s nice. I just became CEO of my own company… at age 12.”

This need to always be “the best” comes from a deep-seated fear of failure. Type 3s often struggle with equating their worth to their achievements, leading to this constant competition with others.

Workaholic Tendencies

These achievers will sacrifice everything on the altar of success – including relationships, health, and basic human decency.

The workaholic nature of Type 3s often masks a fear of being seen as incompetent or unsuccessful. Their struggle to find worth outside of their achievements can lead to this unhealthy obsession with work and success.

Type 4: The Individualist’s Isolating Intensity

Melodramatic Behavior

Type 4s can turn a paper cut into a Greek tragedy. They’ll wallow in their emotions like a pig in mud, dragging everyone else down with them.

This tendency towards drama often stems from a fear of being ordinary or without significance. Type 4s struggle with feeling fundamentally flawed or defective, leading them to amplify their emotional experiences to feel unique and important.

Chronic Dissatisfaction

Nothing is ever good enough for these folks. They’ll find the cloud in every silver lining, leaving you wondering if happiness is even possible.

This perpetual dissatisfaction often masks a deep longing for a nebulous “something more” that always seems out of reach. Type 4s struggle with the belief that true fulfillment exists somewhere out there, leading to a constant state of discontent with their current situation.

Envy

Type 4s are masters of the “grass is always greener” mentality. They’ll covet what others have while simultaneously believing they’re too unique to ever truly fit in.

This envious nature often comes from a place of feeling fundamentally lacking or deficient. Type 4s struggle with the belief that others possess some quality or experience that they’re missing out on, fueling their envy and sense of alienation.

Type 5: The Investigator’s Icy Isolation

Emotional Detachment

Type 5s can retreat into their minds faster than you can say “feelings are scary.” They’ll analyze emotions instead of experiencing them, leaving others feeling shut out.

This emotional withdrawal often stems from a fear of being overwhelmed or depleted by the outside world. Type 5s struggle with the belief that they have limited inner resources, leading them to conserve energy by detaching from emotional experiences.

Intellectual Arrogance

These folks have a fact for everything. They’ll correct your grammar, your science, and probably your life choices if you let them.

This know-it-all behavior often masks a deep insecurity about their competence. Type 5s struggle with the fear of being useless or incapable, leading them to overcompensate by accumulating and displaying knowledge.

Commitment Avoidance

Type 5s guard their resources like dragons hoarding gold. This includes their time, energy, and emotions. Good luck getting them to commit to… well, anything.

This reluctance to commit often comes from a fear of being depleted or overwhelmed. Type 5s struggle with the belief that they have limited inner resources, leading them to be overly protective of their time and energy.

Type 6: The Loyalist’s Lurking Fears

Catastrophizing

Type 6s can conjure up disaster scenarios faster than you can say “but what if…” They’ll have you believing the apocalypse is nigh because you forgot to buy milk.

This tendency to expect the worst often stems from a deep-seated fear of being without support or guidance. Type 6s struggle with trusting their own judgment, leading them to constantly anticipate and prepare for potential threats.

Passive-Aggressiveness

These folks have elevated indirect communication to an art form. They’ll say “It’s fine” in a tone that clearly means “It’s so not fine, and you’ll be hearing about this for the next decade.”

This indirect expression of negative feelings often comes from a fear of confrontation and its potential consequences. Type 6s struggle with balancing their need for security with their desire to express discontent, leading to this roundabout communication style.

Excessive Skepticism

Type 6s will put your friendship through more trials than Hercules. They’ll create situations to test your loyalty, then get upset when you inevitably fail their impossible standards.

This constant testing often masks a deep fear of betrayal or abandonment. Type 6s struggle with trusting others and their own judgment, leading to this exhausting cycle of loyalty tests and disappointment.

How each enneagram type unwinds

Know the warning signs in a relationship

Type 7: The Enthusiast’s Escapist Tendencies

Commitment Phobia

Type 7s avoid responsibility like cats avoid baths. They’ll jump from job to job, relationship to relationship, always chasing the next shiny thing.

This aversion to commitment often stems from a fear of missing out or being trapped. Type 7s struggle with the belief that committing to one path means sacrificing all other exciting possibilities, leading to this constant pursuit of novelty.

Inconsistency

These folks have the focus of a goldfish on caffeine. They’ll start a million projects and finish… approximately zero.

This scattered approach often comes from a deep-seated fear of pain or deprivation. Type 7s are constantly pursuing the next exciting thing to avoid boredom or discomfort. They struggle with the anxiety that if they slow down or focus on one thing, they might have to confront unpleasant emotions or experiences. This leads to a pattern of starting projects with enthusiasm but quickly losing interest when the initial excitement wears off or challenges arise.

Toxic Positivity

Type 7s can take optimism to unhealthy extremes. They’ll slap a smiley face on even the most serious situations, leaving others feeling invalidated and unheard.

This relentless positivity often masks a deep fear of pain and negative emotions. Type 7s struggle with acknowledging and processing difficult feelings, leading them to gloss over serious issues with forced cheerfulness.

Type 8: The Challenger’s Confrontational Chaos

Domineering Behavior

Type 8s can steamroll over others’ feelings faster than you can say “but I think…” They’ll argue their point until you give up out of sheer exhaustion.

This controlling behavior often stems from a fear of being controlled or violated. Type 8s struggle with vulnerability, leading them to adopt an aggressive stance as a form of preemptive self-defense.

Excessive Anger

Type 8s can go from zero to rage faster than a sports car. Their temper tantrums can leave a wake of emotional destruction that would make Godzilla proud.

This quick temper often masks a deep sensitivity and fear of betrayal. Type 8s struggle with feeling vulnerable, so they use anger as a way to protect themselves and assert control over their environment.

Control Issues

These folks need to be in charge like plants need sunlight. They’ll micromanage every aspect of a situation, leaving others feeling powerless and resentful.

This need for control often comes from a place of trying to protect themselves and others. Type 8s struggle with trusting others to handle things, leading to this overbearing behavior.

Type 9: The Peacemaker’s Passive Problems

Conflict Avoidance

Type 9s avoid direct confrontation like the plague. Instead, they’ll resort to subtle jabs and silent treatment, leaving you wondering what you did wrong.

This aversion to conflict often stems from a deep fear of separation or discord. Type 9s struggle with the belief that addressing issues directly will lead to turbulence in their relationships, so they opt for passive-aggressive tactics instead.

Procrastination

These folks can put off important tasks with Olympic-level skill. They’ll find any excuse to avoid dealing with problems, even as those problems grow into unmanageable monsters.

This tendency to procrastinate often masks a fear of being affected by change or disturbance. Type 9s struggle with inertia, finding it easier to maintain the status quo (even if it’s problematic) than to exert the energy required for change.

People-Pleasing

Type 9s can lose themselves in others’ opinions faster than you can say “doormat.” They’ll agree with everyone to keep the peace, leaving you wondering if they have any thoughts of their own.

This chameleon-like behavior often comes from a deep desire to maintain harmony at all costs. Type 9s struggle with asserting their own needs and opinions, fearing that doing so might lead to conflict or separation from others.

Conclusion: Embracing Our Shadows

Recognizing these toxic traits isn’t about pointing fingers or wallowing in negativity. It’s about understanding ourselves and others better so we can grow and improve our relationships.

Remember, we all have our flaws and quirks. The key is to approach them with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment. After all, behind every toxic trait is a person trying their best to navigate this crazy world.

So, the next time someone’s behavior drives you up the wall, take a deep breath and ask yourself: What might be driving this person? What are they afraid of? What do they need? You might just find that a little understanding goes a long way.

And hey, while you’re at it, why not take a good, hard look at your own toxic traits? We’ve all got ‘em. The question is: What are you going to do about yours?